"As Kieran Setiya recalls in his book; Midlife, he was heading towards the age of forty when he first began to feel a creeping sense of emptiness, which he would later come to understand as the result of living a project-driven life, crammed not with atelic activities but telic ones, the primary purpose of which was to have them done, and to have achieved certain outcomes.
He published papers in philosophy journals in order to speed his path to academic tenure; he sought tenure in order to achieve a solid profesional reputation and financial security; he taught students in order to achieve those goals, and also in order to help them attain degrees and launch theid own careers.
In other words, he was suffering from the very problem we've been exploring: when your relationship with time is almost entirely instrumental, the present moment starts to lose its meaning.
And it makes sense that this feeling might strike in the form of midlife crisis, because midlife is when many of us first become consciously aware that mortality is approaching - and mortality makes it impossible to ignore the absurdity of living solely for the future."
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